What is the value of diversion in our lives?

I used to believe, without question, that to not study, analyze, and/or discuss “issues” in the moment when they were showing up was to be in denial of them. After doing this for 30+ years, with sketchy success, I began to wonder. Numerous interactions with my son encouraged me to give diversion more of a try. One in particular, when he was 6 years old, long past the age when diversion is suggested as an effective parenting technique, solidified my shift in perspective.

It was time to go to school and Reuben wasn’t at all excited about it. He was in fact quite upset and expressing that very clearly. I considered using a tactic I had used in the past where I tried to help him find something good about school, but that tactic had often led to an argument, each of us trying to convince the other of our position on things.

So instead I came up with a game around getting his teeth brushed and his shoes on where he ran around the house in between each step of the process. It took a bit more time than it could have, but a lot less time than it would have to argue. And more importantly, his energy shifted completely. As he got out of the car at school he turned and gave me his usual wink and smile before running to the door.

Reuben and I did return to the issue of how he felt about school when we weren’t in the midst of needing to leave. In a less charged space we were able to come up with some very helpful things we could do to make his experience better.

Could diversion to something that feels good be as effective for any of us, regardless of our age? Try it out and let me know.